Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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