the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize