Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
