Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
