i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
