May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
