u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
