he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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