we have officially lost it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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