Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
