She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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