idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
