But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
