That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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