trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize