Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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