Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
