so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
