Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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