Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
