If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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