If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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