i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
