she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
