My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Panties = found
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