i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
