Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
