Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
