Rock
Scissors
Fuck
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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