absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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