Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
