This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
