i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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