Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
