Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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