You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
