I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
