absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
