apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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