I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
