shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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