he shaved USA in his pubs
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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