there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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