we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
