There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
