god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
