I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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