yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
