I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
operation have a gay friend backfired
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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