I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
