Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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