was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
