conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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