babies were throwing up all over the place
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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