how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize