out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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