So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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