Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
