...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
